There is nothing that beats logic and intellect than making mistakes out of love in your dating relationship. The serious ones are those that we are mostly making as we try to have the ex back in our lives. The fact is that there are mistaking which can easily make the ex rather than coming back into your life to move farther from you. The mistake should be when you start apologizing ceaselessly for actions that you did. If an apology has chances of working, just one or two are enough. There are some things that you need to do once you have said that you were sorry and the ex never came back to the dating relationship. This should prepare you for that ultimate apology.
We are exposed to music from the day we are conceived. We can feel and hear it in the womb. Many of us on our day of birth can hear our Mother singing, “Rock-a-bye-baby.” That turns to “Happy Birthday” every single year after that. Everyone has certain songs that invoke strong memories from the past. How about that special wedding song?
When we learn to recognize what we are feeling, accept it and breathe into it – whatever it is, and we combine this emotional awareness with a clear and focused mind, we have the formula for emotional intelligence. In her book Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach suggests that when joy arises, when gratitude arises, when love arises – it’s easy to embrace it. The gift is when we can say “and this too” when the anger, sadness and fear emerge, and accept and embrace them too.
Think back to your own childhood. Do it now, lean back, close your eyes and think for a few minutes through your childhood memories. What are your favorite memories, the ones that make you happy? When groups of adults are asked this question, the answers are consistently memoires that have to do with outside play, friends, imaginative play, family trips etc. None of them have to do with workbooks, watching tv or even with adult led play.
Now I’ve been talking about this concept in terms of creating a new girlfriend or boyfriend, but this is really applicable to ANY area of your life where you’re trying to create a “relationship” of some kind.
Saturday Circus is a free 12-week parenting class and support group offered at the downtown branch of Lane Community College (1059 Willamette Street, Room 301). Classes are offered on Saturday mornings from 9am-Noon during the school year and Friday mornings from 9am-Noon during the Summer. Child care is provided for children ages 5 and younger. Children 6-11 participate in positive parenting workshops while parents are in class. There is a $10 supply fee that can be waived for those who cannot afford it and the classes are free. Call 541-463-5252 for information and registration.
Talk as well as listen. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who gives us their undivided attention, but take your share of it, otherwise she’ll see you as a doormat and lose interest. Set your ipod alarm if need be – it’s time for you to talk!
Another important piece of advice and common sense is to plan your date in a public place when meeting a stranger for the first time. You never really know a person even when you think you do. Some people are abusive, bad intentions or just something to hide such as marriage. By doing a quick background search through public records to search criminal records can save you a lot of trouble and grief.